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A Night (to Try) to Remember

Part 1

Rarity inhaled deeply, letting the pleasant aroma of her drink fill her nostrils.  The snifter glass gently shifted about, buoyed by her magical aura, and its burgundy contents swirled along the transparent walls.  She tipped the glass to her lips, gracefully sipping its contents in a way that only years of cultured drinking could imbue.  A satisfied smile crossed her lips as the cognac warmed her throat as it drained to her stomach.  She was almost finished with her third glass of the night, which would put her just at her tolerance level for this particular beverage; such a shame that her friends didn't know their own tolerances.

At that thought, she looked about the bar from her seat in the corner booth.  While she wasn't the type to normally socialize in such establishments, this bar was cultured enough for her tastes, being well designed, well built, and having a satisfactory selection of wines and spirits.  Of course, the main reason she was there was because it was Twilight's idea: in her continuing studies of friendship, it had come to her attention that "social drinking" was a common activity among friends, which led her to suggest this outing to her own friends.  The idea was met general agreement, though Fluttershy needed some convincing and reassurance, which took the form of Rainbow Dash and Applejack carrying her to the bar.

That had been that morning, now it was just after midnight.  Rarity's eyes flitted about the establishment, taking stock of her friends and their varying conditions.  Over to her left at a small circular table, Rainbow Dash was slumped over on the table's top while Applejack was sprawled out underneath it.  The bottles and stacks of shot glasses served as a testament to their drinking contest.  At the bar was Fluttershy, talking up a storm with another patron for at least the last hour.  Rarity had to smile at that, though it was a shame that the pegasus had to ingest some alcohol in order to become more outgoing.  Finally on the stage next to the karaoke machine were Pinkie Pie and Twilight Sparkle, still belting out songs as they had been doing for the last couple of hours.

"Equestria Girls, we're kinda magical!
Boots on hooves, bikinis on top!
Furry coats, so cute we'll blow your mi-ind!"

Movement near the bar's entrance caught the white unicorn's eye.  Shifting her gaze, she saw that it was Big Macintosh coming in.  She finished the last of her drink and stood up, waving him over to her booth.

"Good evening, Macintosh, thank you for coming at such a late hour."

"Evenin', Miss Rarity," he greeted in return, causing her to giggle lightly.

"Darling, how many times must I tell you?  Just 'Rarity' is fine."

He smiled sheepishly, "Sorry, ma'am – er, Rarity, force o' habit."

"It's quite alright.  I do hope Caramel didn't have to wake you when he took my message to you."

"Nnope," he said with the shake of his head, "I was goin' over the farm's books for this week's sales."

"Oh good.  Is Spike with you?  I asked Caramel if he could get him as well."

"Eeyup, he's outside. The bouncer wouldn't let 'im in."

"Ah yes, he is too young, isn't he?  I suppose we ought to get the girls together before he gets too upset."

"Eeyup," the stallion drawled again with a glance around the room.  "So, uh, where's my sister?"

"To your right and down, dear," she called over her shoulder as she made her way to the small stage.

The red Clydesdale quirked an eyebrow upward at the unicorn's cryptic response but looked in the direction she specified anyway.  Both eyebrows went up upon seeing his sister sprawled out on the floor, her hat somehow having migrated to her rump.  He shook his head at the number of shot glasses that littered the table.

"Yer goin' to be feelin' that in the morning, Sis," he muttered.  He gently picked her up by the scruff of her neck in his mouth and slung her over his back.  Her only reaction was a slightly louder snore as he placed her hat back on her head.  He stepped over to Rainbow Dash and cleared his throat.  "S'cuse me, Miss Dash?  I think it's time to head on home."

Dash remained slumped over the table.

Macintosh nudged her gently with his hoof, "Miss Dash?"

Dash slid off the table and crumpled heavily to the floor, her head landing with a resounding thump on the oak floorboards.  Macintosh cringed and leaned over her.


By this time, Rarity had returned with Twilight, Pinkie, and Fluttershy in tow.  Pinkie seemed to be about five seconds away from being sound asleep, her eyes half-closed as she stumbled into Twilight.  The purple unicorn was acting just the opposite, bouncing on her hooves and giggling like she didn't have a care in the world.  Finally, there was Fluttershy…

"Oh hello Big Macintosh, I didn't see you come in how are you doing?  Is the farm doing well?  I'm sorry if some of the animals I care for wander in there and take some of your apples; it's hard to keep track of them sometimes.  I mentioned that to Applejack earlier and she said it wasn't a problem but I wanted to apologize to you too since it's your farm too.  Oh is she asleep?  I'm sorry I didn't realize she was I shouldn't be so loud right now but it's hard because I feel so happy and I'm not sure why, not that it's a bad thing, I mean I'm usually pretty happy but this is different for some reason and I just feel like sharing it with everypony – oh!  This must be what Pinkie Pie feels all the time; how interesting don't you think that's interesting?"

Macintosh wasn't sure which surprised him more: the fact that the normally quiet, reserved pegasus just spoke more in the last thirty seconds than in the whole previous year or that she had done it in a single breath.  He looked past her to the unicorn mare she had been talking to before, who appeared to still be unconsciously nodding towards Fluttershy's now-empty seat, her eyes glazed over.  He realized that the yellow pegasus was looking at him with an expectant smile, waiting for his answer.  His mind groped for something intelligent to say in response.


That wasn't it, but it seemed to satisfy the pegasus who then began a predominately one-sided conversation with Pinkie.  Macintosh shifted his attention to Rarity, who had magically levitated Dash's prone form into the air for transport.

"What in Equestria did ya give that filly and how much?" he asked incredulously.

"Fluttershy?  Oh, she just had that bottle at the booth table."

He examined the specified bottle, a smile of recognition crossing his face.  "Hey, this is my uncle's hard cider brew!"  His expression changed to one of confusion as his eyebrows knit together.  "Wait, just this bottle?  It ain't even empty!  I've heard of lightweights, but that's jus' ridiculous."

"To be fair, she very rarely drinks anything stronger than a sarsaparilla.  Speaking of whom, would you be willing to escort her back to her cottage?  I would walk her myself, but I have Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie to get home and I think that may be a bit harder than I originally thought.  Spike can help Twilight back to the library so I'm not worried about her."

The stallion shrugged, "Sure, I can manage that.  Her cottage ain't too far from the farm anyway."

"Oh thank you ever so much," Rarity smiled in some relief.  "Now, we all agreed to meet for lunch tomorrow at the Clover Café, will you remind Applejack if she forgets?"

"Eeyup, not a problem."

"Thank you, darling.  Well, I must be off, have a good night!"

"You too, Rarity."

And with that, they separated, each taking their charges back to their respective homes for a night's rest.


"You should've told me what y'all were plannin' on doin' last night, Sis, I could've given ya some advice."

"Like what?" came a groan from underneath a familiar Stetson.

"Like avoidin' a hangover," Macintosh drawled with no small irony.

Applejack groaned again and tried to pull her hat further down over her head.  They were sitting at one of the large tables outside the Clover Café, a popular meal spot in town, waiting for the rest of their group to arrive.  Surprisingly, Applejack had woken up that morning at a reasonable time, considering all that happened the night before.  Likely it was her years of farm and keeping that schedule.  Unsurprisingly, she had spent most of the morning in the bathroom getting herself on a first name basis with the toilet.  By the time she had finished with the bathroom, it was time to head on over to the Café and Macintosh had insisted on coming with her.  He had said it was to make sure that she didn't run into any problems while in her condition; Applejack figured he came just to be annoying.  Presently, Fluttershy trotted up to the table.

"Mornin', Fluttershy," Macintosh greeted.

The yellow pegasus hid behind her mane, blushing lightly, "Oh, g-good morning, Big Macintosh; hello, Applejack.  How are you this morning?"

"I'll be better once you stop screamin'," the farm mare muttered.

Fluttershy ducked her head, suddenly very contrite, "Oh dear, am I shouting?  I'm sorry, I didn't realize it."

Big Macintosh chuckled, "You're fine, Fluttershy, AJ here's just bein' cranky 'cause of her hangover.  Ain't that right, AJ?"  The last part was said much louder than was necessary.

Applejack's whole body shuddered and she turned her head just enough for one eye to be visible, giving him a glare that could have killed a small animal, "Macintosh, when I feel alive again, I'm gonna shave yer mane off in yer sleep."

"Oh…my…" Fluttershy was wide-eyed at the exchange; Macintosh merely chuckled, obviously enjoying himself far too much to be worried about the threat.  He shifted slightly to turn to Fluttershy, ignoring Applejack's death glare.

"How're you doin' after last night?  You seem to be a fair sight better than AJ here."


"Don't be rude, AJ."

The pegasus' eye visible through the part in her mane barely made contact with his.  "Oh, I'm…fine…I think."

Macintosh tilted his head curiously, concern evident in his eyes.  "You 'think'?  Is somethin' wrong?"

She shook her head.  "Oh no no no, I mean, I don't think so.  I just can't, well…"  She trailed off into mumbling.

"Sorry, Fluttershy, I didn't quite catch that."

"She said she couldn't remember anythin' from last night," Applejack grumbled.

"Oh," the stallion chuckled, "I wouldn't worry much, Fluttershy, AJ's the same way right now."  Another growl, which he ignored.  "'Sides, I walked you home last night."

Her eyes widened as she shifted nervously.  "Y-you did?  Oh, um…t-thank you, Big Macintosh.  Um…did anything happen that I should remember?"

Macintosh's countenance suddenly changed as he rubbed the back of his neck nervously and avoiding looking directly at Fluttershy.  "Erm, well, nothin' really important, I mean, I guess some stuff did happen, but nothin' bad or anythin'."

Applejack actually raised her head off the table to give him a curious look, however Rainbow Dash's arrival sidetracked her from grilling him further.  Dash sat down at the table with uncharacteristic deliberate ginger and looked around at the others through squinted eyelids.

"Hi orange blob who's probably Applejack, yellow blob that's Fluttershy, and big red splotch."

"Um, that's Big Macintosh, Rainbow," Fluttershy intoned.

Dash squinted harder at the stallion.  "Oh, guess it is.  Hiya, Big Mac."

"Mornin', Miss Dash."

"Ugh, just 'Rainbow Dash' or some variation thereof, please," she groaned and lay her head on the table.  Fluttershy started rubbing her friend's back and was rewarded with a slightly more pleasant groan.  "Pinkie Pie should be here soon, she said she'd be right behind me when I left Sugarcube Corner."

Sure enough, from the direction of Ponyville's popular sweet shop, came a bouncing pink pony.  Peculiarly, her bounce was far slower than normal, going so far as to violate all known laws of physics as she was descending from the jump as slowly as she launched herself into it; it was though her whole body was trapped in slow motion.  She landed softly and sat down next to Dash, her eyes eerily focused straight ahead, seemingly into infinity.  

"She's been like that all morning," Dash commented, "I think this is her version of a hangover."

The other ponies nodded, it seemed to make sense, at least as much sense as anything related to Pinkie Pie could be.  It was then that Horte Cuisine, the Café's earth pony owner, came to the table.

"Would you like to order, sir and madams?" he asked in his well-cultured accent.

"Um, some orange juice, if that's alright," Fluttershy said quietly.

"I'll have a mug of root beer," said Macintosh, "An' I think you'd better jus' get everypony else water, I think that's all they can handle right now."


All eyes turned to Pinkie as soon as she spoke.

"Big bowl," she droned, eyes unmoving, "Please."

Both stallions arched an eyebrow at her.

"An' I guess make hers a big bowl of water if you can," Macintosh finished.

"As you wish."  With that, the cream-colored stallion disappeared back into the Café proper.  Shortly thereafter, a familiar white unicorn trotted over.

"Good morning, everypony!" Rarity greeted brightly.

Dash immediately covered her head with her forelegs, "Gah, cheerful pony at ten o'clock!  Take cover!"

The fashionista giggled as she sat down, "Oh come now, Rainbow, surely it's not all that bad.  Besides, weren't you the one bragging all of yesterday on how nopony else in all of Ponyville could match your stamina?"

Applejack smirked, "That was before she tried out-drinkin' this farm mare.  Heh heh heh ow."  Her chuckle was cut short by renewed throbbing in her noggin.  Dash just grumbled and withdrew farther under her forelegs.  Horte Cuisine returned a minute later with a platter of drinks in his mouth.

"I shall bring out Miss Pie's bowl in a moment," he said with a slight air of disdain as he passed out the drinks, "I do apologize for not bringing it out with the rest of the drinks."

"S'alright, Horte," Macintosh said, "Sorry, I forgot t' mention that there's a couple more comin' and Rarity just got here."  

He glanced over to the newcomer, "Ah, so she has; what would you like, Miss Rarity?"

"A pomegranate seltzer would be fine, Horte, thank you," she smiled.  Horte bowed and retreated back inside.  She turned her attention to the gathered group, "And how are you all this beautiful morning?"

"Hurrgh." "Bleargh." "Oh, I'm fine." "Sun…so…bright."

"Then close your eyes, Pinkie."

"Oh yeah."

Rarity had to cover her mouth with a hoof to suppress a giggle.  She truly felt bad for her friends, having suffered this ailment once or twice before herself, but she couldn't help but be struck by the amusing reactions they were having with their hangovers.

"Oh you poor dears," she finally said, "Don't worry, you'll recover soon enough."

"Soon enough ain't soon enough," Applejack muttered.

Just then, Horte returned again with Rarity's drink and Pinkie's bowl, which he carefully set down in front of the pink pony.

"Shall I get you a straw, Madame?" he asked.  "Surely that would be more preferable than lapping it straight-"


Pinkie pitched forward and planted her face squarely into the bowl, splashing some of its contents over the sides.  Horte and Macintosh were the only ones of the group who showed any sort of reaction to the mare's peculiarity, staring befuddled at the bowl containing her partially submerged head.  Rarity sipped demurely at her seltzer.

"It's quite alright, boys," she said, "She's normally like this.  Horte, we'll let you know when the rest of our group arrives."

The stallion shook his attention away from Pinkie.  "O-of course, Miss Rarity," he said and moved on to another occupied table to take its occupants' orders, away from the odd group.

Rarity looked around at the gathered group.  "Odd that Twilight isn't here yet.  She's usually so punctual."

"I hope she's alright," Fluttershy said in a worried tone, "Do you think she's still at the library?"

"She's in Canterlot," said Spike as he appeared beside the table, naturally taking the seat closest to Rarity.  His statement drew questioning glances from the others.

"Canterlot?" Rarity asked, "Why is she in Canterlot?  Did Princess Celestia summon her?"

"Well…not exactly, although the Princess did send me a note concerning Twilight," he explained, holding up a scroll bearing the Royal Seal.  "See, things didn't go quite as planned last night and-"

A bright flash just off the main thoroughfare nearby caught everyone's attention.  There, next to the road, stood a pair of unicorns, one dark blue and wearing glasses and the other…

"Oh, Twilight darling!  Over here!" Rarity waved.

The blue unicorn mare glanced towards their table and smiled brightly, "Ooh, only a hundred feet off; it's been so long since I have done that, I half expected that we would end up in Trottingham.  Splendid!"

"Yeah, wonderful," Twilight groaned, her very appearance like the posterfilly for death.

"There you are, Twilight!" Spike exclaimed as the mare pair approached, "I really wish you told me you were going take off like that last night.  Not that I was worried or anything, it's just I'd rather know what you're planning before you spring it."

Twilight gingerly laid her head on the table and shut her eyes.  "I didn't exactly plan it, Spike," she said in annoyance, "The alcohol messed with my magic receptors and I had trouble compensating properly."

"Oh yes, a unicorn must be extremely careful when ingesting such strong drinks," the blue mare said gravely as she sat next to Twilight, "You are very fortunate you made it through as unscathed as you did."

"'Unscathed'…right," the student repeated dryly.

"Hey uh, Twi?" Applejack spoke up, "Not to be rude or nothin', but are ya gonna introduce us to yer friend?"

"My apologies, Miss Applejack, I should have done so before we sat down," said the blue mare, "Sister suggested that I travel incognito since this is not a formal visit.  I yielded to her wisdom in this matter, especially since I do not want to cause a scene.  I do ask that you keep your voices down and your reactions to a minimum."

The ponies and dragon exchanged mystified glances with each other as the blue mare lifted her glasses off her nose and enveloped herself in a magical aura, briefly revealing an ethereal, starry mane and pair of wings in full regal glory.  As her glasses floated back to her nose and she resumed her disguise, she noticed wide eyes and hanging jaws all around the table.  She smiled apologetically.

"I do apologize for the subterfuge.  As I said, I did not want to cause a scene, and please, just call me Luna."

Rarity was the first to recover from the shock.  "O-of course, Your Maj – er, Luna."  She turned to Twilight, "Good heavens, Twilight, what in Equestria happened last night?"

The purple unicorn sat upright and opened her mouth to explain as she would in a lecture…and promptly closed it.  She repeated the action a few times, finally deflating with a sigh.

"I don't remember.  At all."

Spike spoke up, "Well, I can tell you what happened right after we left the bar."

"Please do, Spike," Luna plied as a scroll, quill, and ink flashed into existence, "Celly was insistent that I get the complete story to relate to her later."

Twilight groaned and covered her head, an overwhelming sense of dread oozing out of every pore.

The baby dragon leaned back in his chair, "Well, let's see, I guess I better start from when we left the bar…

"Well it's about time you came out," Spike grumbled as Macintosh exited the bar. "I've been stuck out here for ten minutes," he added, shooting a glare at the bar's bouncer.

Macintosh arched an eyebrow as he shifted under his sister's dead weight, "Sorry it took so long, but there's no need to be rude about it."

Spike sighed tiredly, "Sorry, getting woken up in the middle of a great dream to bring Twilight back home because she's had too much to drink isn't my idea of a good time."  He added under his breath, "And I was just about to get a kiss from Rarity, too."

"Beg pardon?"

"Erm uh, nothing!" the dragon stuttered, immediately aware of his faux pas.  He quickly changed the subject, "So!  Ah, where's Twilight?"

hic! Spike!"  The purple unicorn staggered out of the bar, swaying dangerously to and fro, and stopped in front of Spike.  A sloppy smile framed a pair of half-closed eyes that drifted over him.  "Isn't it hic! a little late for you to be out, young dragon?"

"We jus' wanted to make sure you'd get home alright, Miss Sparkle," Macintosh interjected.

Twilight shifted her attention to the stallion, squinting in the low light.  "
hic! I appreciate your concern Ma…Macinntarsh," she slurred, "But why would I need help getting home?"

"Because you're drunk?" Spike said, nonplussed.

"I'm not so think as you drunk I am," she replied, slightly indignant, "In fact, I'll
hic! prove it.  I'll walk back to the library by myself!"

With a toss of the head, she trotted indignantly yet haphazardly away from the bar.  Spike buried his face in his hands while Macintosh shifted his ever-present hay stalk in his mouth.

"You going to be alright gettin' her back home?"

Spike let an annoyed sigh slip out, "Yeah, I think so.  I just have to make sure she doesn't walk into the wrong house."  He paused, looking down the road so he didn't lose sight of her.  "Or the pond," he added as he took off running.  "Twilight!"


"The library's that way." Spike pointed a finger towards another street.  

Twilight looked that way, "…I know that
hic! I was jus'…proving that the shortest distance between two points is a curve instead of a straight line."

"Hoo boy, see ya later, Big Mac!"

"See ya." Macintosh looked behind him to make sure his sister was still slung over his back, which she was, and saw Fluttershy jabbering away at the bouncer, who appeared to be growing very uncomfortable with the pegasus before him.  Spike would not be the only one who let out an annoyed sigh that night.

Since Twilight's ability to walk in a straight line was somewhat impaired, Spike had little difficulty catching up to the meandering unicorn.  He slowed his pace once he caught up, staying in the middle of the street rather than trying to match her swerving across the street.  She bumped into him several times, giggling each time; having caught a whiff of her breath, he was very glad that there weren't any open flames about.  He shuddered to think what would happen if he were to receive a letter when she was close by.  Twilight, meanwhile, rambled on and on about some spell theory she was working on, which was occasionally interrupted by a hiccup.

"Finally, there's the library," he breathed thankfully as their arboreal home came into view.  Twilight hiccupped.  "Now I can get back to my nice warm bed."


"Think you can make it up the stairs to your bed, Twilight?"


"I'll take that as a yes.  I'm glad we don't have anything planned for tomorrow, the way you're acting now I don't think you'll be in any condition to do anything."

hic!" POP!

The surrounding area became day for a split second before succumbing to the night once more.  Spike blinked a few times as his eyes readjusted and realized that he was alone in the middle of the street.  

"Uh…Twilight?  Twilight, where'd you go?"  

Looking around, he noticed a small charred area of ground…right about where Twilight had stood.

"…Aw horseapples."

"She drunk teleported?" Rarity asked incredulously.

"For those of us who aren't magically inclined," Dash interjected, "Is that a bad thing?"

Rarity rolled her eyes, "Yes, Rainbow, it is a 'bad thing'.  Imagine, if you will, performing your 'Buccaneer Blitz' while drunk, what would the result be?"

The comprehension of the comparison slowly dawned on her.  "Oh," she mouthed silently.  "So, what happened?  Didja get to the library or what?"

"Ahem, I believe this is where I take over the narrative."

All eyes turned wonderingly to the Moon Princess, Twilight groaned loudly.

Princess Luna sat at the work table in her bedchamber, busily reading through a tome documenting the peace and trade treaties from a century earlier with the Llama Kingdom on the western border.  Even though she had been home for nearly two years, she was still catching up on all the events of her missing millennium and slowly taking over her duties as Nocturnal Princess from her sister.  Her job of guiding the moon and stars was easy; researching history and law to recover her executive and academic duties was a far more daunting task.

A sudden, bright flash lit up her room and stole her attention away from the tome.  She immediately recognized it as a teleportation spell and feared the worst.

"Zounds!  Intruder!  Alarm, alarm!" she shouted, her horn glowing a brilliant blue in preparation for whatever the intruder may do.

Twilight stumbled in confusion, glancing around the room with a furrowed brow.  "This isn't
hic! the library…Oh!  Luna!" she exclaimed happily upon noticing the princess and trotted up to her to give her a hug, "It's so go- hic! good to see you again!"

Needless to say, getting hugged by a drunk, affectionate student was not on Luna's "Possible threats from intruders" list.  As it was, the glow from her horn slowly died as she tried to comprehend the situation.

"Um…it is good to see you too, Twilight Sparkle, if very much unexpected," she said, awkwardly returning the hug.  The doors to her room burst open as her two gray Night Guard pegasi rushed in, ready for combat.

"Princess Luna, are you alright?" the first one, Silver Cloud, asked while the second, Nightwing, scanned the room for anything out of the ordinary.  Their eyes came to rest on the purple unicorn hugging their charge and their anxiousness turned to confusion.

"Hi Nightwing!  Hi
hic! Silver!" Twilight waved to them.  Since she had spent much of her life in and around the palace, she had gotten to know many of the Royal Guards.

"Miss Sparkle," Nightwing nodded hesitantly in return.

"I am quite alright, thank you, Captain.  I apologize for the false alarm.  I was not expecting Miss Sparkle and she startled me."

hic! I'm sorry, Luna, I didn't mean to hic! oh wow, look at all of these books!"  She disengaged from the princess and stumbled excitedly over to a bookshelf that ran along the entire wall and up to the high, vaulted ceiling.  "Is this your personal hic! collection?  Ooh!  I've never seen that title before, at least not at the academy…"

The two guards exchanged confused looks and approached Luna, who appeared quite perplexed at the whole situation.

"Your Majesty, would you like us to take her to one of the guest rooms?" Silver asked.  


Luna pondered for a moment, "Thank you, Captain, but I do not think such action will be necessary.  Twilight Sparkle is Celestia's personal student, how much trouble could she be?"

"I don't know, I don't think she's ever been drunk before," Silver pointed out.

hic!" POP!

Once again, the room was enveloped in a bright flash, causing all present to cover their eyes against the ocular onslaught.  Once the flash passed, they looked to where Twilight had been standing only to find a small charred mark on the floor.  Luna was aghast.

"Fie!  She teleported!" She spun around to her guards, "Quickly, search the palace grounds for her, she may be in peril!"

"'In peril'?" Silver asked in confusion.

Luna explained quickly, "If a unicorn teleports while intoxicated, her concentration may falter or she may accidentally cast another spell during transit, resulting in parts of her being in several places at once.  Now go with haste!"

"Yes, Ma'am!"  Silver and Nightwing, both somewhat paler after hearing the explanation, snapped to attention and galloped out into the hallway.

"When you find her," Luna called after them, "Bring her to Celestia's chambers!"

With that, she trotted out to her balcony and took flight, gliding down from her spire towards her sister's living quarters across the main courtyard.  Thankful to see light streaming out from Celestia's bedroom balcony, she snapped her wings back for an extra burst of speed.  She touched down lightly and quickly entered the room.

"Sister!  I am afraid I bear grave news!"

hic! Hi again, Auntie Luna!"

At that moment, Luna could not figure out which was more perplexing: the fact that Twilight was already present in the room with Celestia, or that she had just been addressed in a familial term.

Celestia smiled ironically, "Let me guess, your news has something to do with Twilight here?"

Twilight hiccupped again as she stared wonderingly at a great painting adorning the wall.

Luna's jaw worked itself open and closed as she tried to find something to say.  Finally, she managed a simple question, "When did she get here?"

"Just a minute before you did, Sister," Celestia replied.  "I take it she visited you before coming to me?  I'm jealous," she winked.

"Celly, this is serious," Luna moaned, "She is very obviously intoxicated and she is teleporting around without rhyme or reason.  We must do something before she suffers injury."

"You are right, Sister," Celestia nodded sagely, "This must be dealt with right away."  She chanced a small chuckle, "It's amazing, though, after all these years she still manages to surprise me.  I know she was not in Canterlot tonight, she would have informed me beforehand."

Luna stared at her incredulously, "You mean to say that she teleported here by accident…from Ponyville…while inebriated?  By the stars, Celly, you do know how to pick out the interesting ones."

"Auntie Luna?"

Both princesses turned their attention back to Twilight, whose face had turned a rather unseemly shade of green.

Urk I don't feel too good…"

The eyes of both princesses widened as a singular thought crossed their minds.

"Oh horseapples."

"You threw up in Princess Celestia's bedroom?!" Rainbow Dash exclaimed a little too loudly, as both she and Applejack clutched their heads and groaned.  Luna managed a chuckle.

"No no, we managed to get her to Celly's bathroom in time, though I am afraid Twilight had quite a time of it before she managed to fall asleep.  We got her cleaned up and then to bed without any difficulty, after which, Celly sent Spike a note telling him not to worry and that Twilight was safe."  Spike held up the parchment he had mentioned earlier.  Luna continued, "When she told us this morning of what she had planned with you all, Celly suggested that I come along to relate her narrative if necessary and for me to discover the whole story of what transpired last night."

"Well, we are very grateful that you took care of Twilight the way you did and brought her back," Rarity said, "It means the world to us that you would take the time to do so."

"You are very welcome, Miss Rarity.  I must admit that this has been a very enlightening experience, and I am sure that we all have learned something from this.  Have we not, Twilight?"

Had it been physically possible, Twilight was certain that she would have shriveled up and died of embarrassment right there.
Here, have some drunk ponies.

Part 2: [link]
Part 3: In progress...

I may not answer all comments, but I read them! :)
(Cover image and description by :icontoodles3702: )

On Equestria Daily: [link]

My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic and its characters are owned by Lauren Faust and Hasbro.
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Nuke21 Featured By Owner Jun 25, 2015  Student Writer
I'd say it's gold but that's a lie, its diamond crusted
zaptiftun Featured By Owner Jun 28, 2015
*makes a mental note to keep Spike away from this*
Darth-Silas Featured By Owner Aug 13, 2013   Artist
...and this is why I avoid drinking. I prefer to remember what I did the night before. 
zaptiftun Featured By Owner Aug 13, 2013
Eeyup, same here.
Darth-Silas Featured By Owner Aug 14, 2013   Artist
Last time I was stupid enough to get to 'buzz' level, I ended up going over the neighbor's fence with my cousin to jump in their pool. I've still got the scar on my ankle where the fence sliced me.
zaptiftun Featured By Owner Aug 14, 2013
Darth-Silas Featured By Owner Aug 14, 2013   Artist
Yes. Very ouch. :iconbloodplz: I won't go into detail so you don't :iconthrowupplz:all over your poor computer.
zaptiftun Featured By Owner Aug 14, 2013
I appreciate that. =P
Darth-Silas Featured By Owner Aug 14, 2013   Artist
So would I in your place. I have a weak stomach when it comes to some gross things. Gory movies barely affect me, if at all, yet I could never step on a bug bigger than an ant without consequences.
zaptiftun Featured By Owner Aug 15, 2013
Funny how that works.
(1 Reply)
EquestriaGurl77 Featured By Owner Jul 10, 2013
I have to make something for this, It's just to funny and I can picture everything in regular animation form
zaptiftun Featured By Owner Jul 10, 2013
EquestriaGurl77 Featured By Owner Jul 11, 2013
I've made 2 things so far but this is my favorite [link]
zaptiftun Featured By Owner Jul 11, 2013
Heh! Nicely done! XD
EquestriaGurl77 Featured By Owner Jul 11, 2013
XD ikr
EquestriaGurl77 Featured By Owner Jul 10, 2013
:iconfluttershyyayplz: yay drunk ponies!
Dawnrex15 Featured By Owner Jan 25, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I loved how Pinkie Pie was in this story it was freaking hilarious.
Ddraigtanto Featured By Owner Dec 19, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Certainly an... unorthodox primes this story has, but certainly an interesting one. I should very much like to see more of it. But that will have to wait for another time I'm afraid. :+fav:
zaptiftun Featured By Owner Dec 19, 2012
Heh, thanks.
Ddraigtanto Featured By Owner Dec 20, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
No problem.
DolphinBuster Featured By Owner Sep 17, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Ohh, I remember reading this on! I could of sworn it sounded familiar. I'm not one to re-read stories, but I just wanted to let you know; This is probably the funniest, and most entertaining story I've read in a long time. I really don't like the ship, Fluttermac. But the story was so good, it covered up that one flaw.

I'll leave now...dropping a fav bomb on all the chapters, and giving ya a watch! :iconfluttershywinkplz:
zaptiftun Featured By Owner Sep 17, 2012
Heh, thanks! I'm glad you enjoyed it! =D

("That Odd Stallion" was rather cute, by the way)
DolphinBuster Featured By Owner Sep 17, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Oh, thank you! That means a lot :meow:
MissingnoB Featured By Owner Aug 4, 2012
Hungover Pinkie is best hungover pony.
CodWars Featured By Owner May 27, 2012  Hobbyist Artist
SadlyLover Featured By Owner May 12, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Thi was so original :D I hope that oneday we can see animation from this, fanmade if not official (I think Lauren didn't like an idea). Brohoof for ya buddy, and keep going, ' cause this is best fanfic what I have reded at long time.
Kman976 Featured By Owner Feb 22, 2012
im very curious to see what happened with fluttershy
P0n3Swag Featured By Owner Feb 22, 2012
you cant skip out on the letter to princess celestia i must know what the moral of the story is. Is it everyone is 20% cooler when drunk/hungover?
zaptiftun Featured By Owner Feb 22, 2012
We'll see....
Maddog3060 Featured By Owner Feb 21, 2012
Funny and well written. I enjoyed it greatly. :)
zaptiftun Featured By Owner Feb 21, 2012
ChaoticSkye Featured By Owner Feb 21, 2012  Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
I've read both part 1 and part 2! LOVE! lol I'm not a huge pony fan but a friend bugged me until I started watching so I do enjoy them :)

This is very well written and I'm looking forward to part3 :D
zaptiftun Featured By Owner Feb 21, 2012
Heh, thanks, glad you're enjoying it! :)
dragon2235 Featured By Owner Feb 12, 2012
best story ever. can you make a sequel of what happened between big mac and fluttershy on the way home[link]
zaptiftun Featured By Owner Feb 12, 2012
That's going to be in the final part...which I need to get finished...
Allrockwme Featured By Owner Feb 17, 2012
well finish it? :))))))))))))))
zaptiftun Featured By Owner Feb 17, 2012
Working on it....
dragon2235 Featured By Owner Feb 12, 2012
awesome can't wait
Praetor-Dex Featured By Owner Feb 8, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Now for part two! PLEASE!!! This was so good!!!
zaptiftun Featured By Owner Feb 8, 2012
It's coming...soon...hopefully...
Chrisgamer Featured By Owner Feb 11, 2012
In Valve's time.....
zaptiftun Featured By Owner Feb 11, 2012
Heh yeah, something like that.
Praetor-Dex Featured By Owner Feb 8, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
well, ok. i'm just waiting for another good laugh at the ponis again.
zaptiftun Featured By Owner Feb 8, 2012
Hopefully it won't be much longer before I put it up.
TheBrownCoat Featured By Owner Feb 8, 2012
a very nice, funny story so far; I can't wait to see everypony else's stories
zaptiftun Featured By Owner Feb 8, 2012
notallthatevil Featured By Owner Feb 7, 2012
Part 2?
zaptiftun Featured By Owner Feb 7, 2012
It's sitting on my editor's computer at the moment.
notallthatevil Featured By Owner Feb 7, 2012
chambers595 Featured By Owner Jan 30, 2012
i used to drunk teleport... but then i took a magical arrow to the hock
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